I.O.U.

Marjorie: "How much do I owe you?"

Me: "$191.50."

Marjorie: "Okay. A hobo will come to your door tonight, knock twice, then cough; at that time, look outside your window....and follow the chalk line to your money."

Jet-Setting, Part II

Me: "I didnt realize you were leaving so soon [for Uzbekistan]."

Marjorie: "Yup....my life is loco."

Me: "When are you back?"

Marjorie: "April 2nd, and thennnn leave 6 days later for India."

Me: "Good god, woman."

Marjorie: "I know."

Me: "Are you still an American?!"

Marjorie: "I can't tell you what I am....only what I feel. And that is hot."

Jet-Setting

Marjorie: "Uzbekistan better appreciate my House of Harlow platform booties."

Fashion Emergency

Marjorie: "I'm having a quarter life fashion crisis!"

Me: "About what?"

Marjorie: "Uhhhh FASHION. Sometimes, I wonder about you."

Me: "WHAT IS YOUR CRISIS."

Marjorie: "CALM DOWN DR. PHIL."

Hair Care, Part III

Me: "I need a new hairstyle."

Marjorie: "A new hairstyle? WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. ALL CHANGES GO THROUGH ME. Get a weave!"

Me: "You're a freak."

Marjorie: "You're a bitch!"

Damaged

Marjorie: "Guess who is bumpinnnn to some Danity Kane up in this bitch?!"

Boredom & Concern

Me: "Ugh, please entertain me and help me get through this day."

Marjorie: "Hmm OK. The other day I saw a hobo like chasing after a woman, yelling about his dreads. I was like umm I do NOT have time for this, Forever 21 is about to close!!! So I crossed the street....I hope that lady is OK."