Siblings & Alcohol

Marjorie: "OMG my brother thought that 'happy hour' was an actual place. He's like 'Huh? There's a Happy Hour in Columbia?' That tard. He needs to drink more."

Me: "Guess it runs in the fam."

Marjorie: "Psh. Hotness and awesomeness run in this fam HUSSY."

Me: "Not that I can tell."

Marjorie: "You need to check yourself before you get your ass rocked."

Email

Me: "You never wrote me back!"

Marjorie: "OH I'M SORRY I HAVE SHIZ TO HANDLE OK. Mother f'er."

Footwear

Me: "You can talk the talk but can you walk the walk?"

Marjorie: "Yes bitch!!! In four inch heels!!!"

Fashion & Self Defense

Marjorie: "D.C. SHOULD be a fashion capital....well not really, some people look TOE UP in these parts. When did it become okay to wear platform flip flops again? Or turquoise running suits? Or REEBOK CLASSICS? Ughhhh….I’ve never had mace either. I don’t think anyone would rob me because -1) I’m hot ; 2) I would probably talk to them and confuse them; 3) I would most likely be confused myself....thinking I was getting Punk’d or something; 4) BITCHES DON’T WANNA F WITH THIS."

Finances

Marjorie: "This budget that my financial advisor put me on does not allow for splurges. Who does that man think he is?! How am I supposed to buy a nice bag/shoes/WHATEVER I WANTS on a darned budget?"

How I Met Your Mother

Marjorie: "I am not Barney Stinson. DO I LOOK LIKE A WHITE MALE? One word for you: ignorant."

Holiday Parties

Marjorie: "And cookie decorating is freaking stressful!!!! I mean what cookies? What decorations?? What toppings?????????? I AM FREAKING THE F OUT!"

Online Dating

Marjorie: "I may go on blackpeoplemeet.net....my sister’s friend met her current 'male friend' through there. I find it QUITE suspect, but hey, whatever puts the motion in her ocean."

Golf

Marjorie: "PS: http://www.usmagazine.com/celebritynews/news/tigers-calves-2009312. That article is about Tiger Woods being insecure about his small CALVES. REALLY?! He’s in the midst of all that shit, and they put out an article....about his CALVES. FOR RIZ????"

Popular Music

Marjorie: "I also don’t trust the Jonas Brothers. Their presence is NOT very settling."

Jesus Christ

Me: "Ok, so who would you say is the most famous person of all time?"

Marjorie: "Ummm....Britney Spears?"

Me: ".....no. The most famous person in ALL of history, in the entire world."

Marjorie: "George Washington?!?"

Shopping

Marjorie: "Nydia took me into Arden B. last week and I was like umm WHERE am I and WHY is there pleather everywhere?"