Betrayal

Me: "Krista is giving me dirt for your blog."

Marjorie: "WTF. That turncoat."

Keys & Leather

Krista: "I'm gonna get a spare house key from Emily."

Marjorie (while watching True Life: I Have a Foot Fetish): "I'm gonna do Dom work."

Krista: "What?"

Marjorie: "Dominatrix!"

Smoke & Steam

Me: "Can I iron my shirt?"

Marjorie: "I don't have an iron, but I'm about to get in the shower - do you want to steam it while I'm in there? Is it 'steam'? No wait, that's not right....do you want to smoke your shirt while I'm in the shower?"

Me: "Uhhh you were right the first time...."

Covert Ops

Me: "Are you actually in the CIA? I'd believe it."

Marjorie: "If I told you, I'd have to kick your ass, bitch."

Footwear

Krista: "Did you know Marjorie wore thigh-high stiletto boots to Ikea?"

Marjorie: "I HAD TO BREAK THEM IN!!!"

Pilgrims, Hobos & the American Revolution

Marjorie (holding a piece of wood over her shoulder): "Hey look at me, I'm a pilgrim!"

Me: "....how are you a pilgrim?"

Marjorie: "You know, those people who used to tie little sacks to the end of a stick and carry it over their shoulder!"

Me: "Do you mean a HOBO?!"

Marjorie: "Ugh, WHATEVER, you know what I mean, like Paul Revere!"

Gifting

Marjorie: "My sister wants to get my aunt a fake LV bag for Christmas. Trife!"